What's new?

Thats a good question! I'm starting to think more in terms of what's old? Life has been so dramatically different from last year. Relationships are progressing in new amazing ways and some are digressing in very painful ways. I have lost touch with some friends and family and that bothers me. I have become complacent in allowing myself to fall into new habits without considering my old life. I am getting to that point in my life where I enjoy going home right after work to make dinner and be with my "woman". As is typically the case with me I need to learn and establish moderation. Everything in moderation....sure! I'm missing the climbing community pretty badly right now. It is a very tough subject for me right now, honestly it has been tough since April. I sailed much more this year than climbed because it was easier emotionally, logistically, and physically. I allowed myself to fall into the "busy" life syndrome and out of the "active" life. I convince myself I dont have time to climb or be active, when in reality there are a couple nights a week that Im on the couch watching a movie by 7pm. A movie or TV show is a good distraction but it simply wont share your life with you or be there for you when times are tough and it certainly is not going supply you with memories that lift you up and make you smile every time you think of them. Thats what climbing has done for me. I have so many memories that just the hint of bring a smile to my face and seem to melt away all the fear and confusion of life and the future. Future....now thats a question. When I was 16 I was sure I wasnt going to live to see 18. Not that I had some morbid thoughts of death or anything of the sort. I could not comprehend what my life would be like after high school so my brain just determined it wasnt going to happen. I was focusing too much on the present and not enough on the future and now I find I am doing the opposite to a fault. Again everything in moderation...... I am afraid of waiting to long to have kids, so I am doing everything I can to get my life in line to make that happen in a little time as possible. I am thinking about growing old with my children and my darling "woman". I am so fond of that idea that Im finding a fear of climbing and other reckless activities that was never there. Rationally I know that I could die on the way home and thats ok. I am happy with the life I have lived. I really feel like I have lived a great life, full of great people and memories. I know talking of death and reflecting on your life is something a much older man should be doing but the reality is that we all have only a limited amount of time to enjoy life. "Get busy livin or get busy dyin" Mike's death scared me, scared me more than I realized and more still than I think I realize now. I think it was his death that caused me to grasp for a future that I was worried I'd never have. While I know a man with that vigor for life would not have wanted to die at a young age, I am sure now that he lived life and loved life and how much more can we expect from one man or woman. Loving life includes the life others, family, strangers, enemies.... I dont know if Ill ever have kids or get married or buy all the toys I've ever wanted but damn it I WILL love life. We have one shot at this folks don't waste it.